Tories need their own island, well away from the European Union

There really isn’t much new[1] in Gordon Brown’s warning that Brexit may break up the United Kingdom and London Mayor Sadiq Khan’s call for a national unity government to stop a hard Brexit.[2] Such a panic was foreseeable as the consequences of this insanity sink in.

It remains unclear that this calamity[3] can be averted.[4] But here’s the interesting part:

His comments come amid mounting fears that a no-deal Brexit would hasten the end of Scotland’s membership of the UK. Three-fifths of Scottish voters (60%) believe that support for Scottish independence would increase after a no-deal Brexit, according to new Focaldata polling for the anti-racist Hope Not Hate campaign. Most Tory supporters said they regarded the end of the union as a price worth paying to achieve Brexit. Some 57% of Conservative party supporters agreed with this view, in a separate UK-wide poll of 3,200 adults for Hope Not Hate.[5]

So this is all nine percent response rate bullshit; it needs to be taken with a large dose of salt.

But it points the way to a solution. Notice that the polls indicating support for a hard Brexit even at the cost of Scottish secession are of Tories, not the English public as a whole.[6] This’d be the same group of idiots[7] that put Boris Johnson in charge in the first place.[8] They want a territory outside the European Union.

So I say ship the lot of them to the South Georgia and South Sandwich Islands, which Wikipedia describes as “remote and inhospitable.” Wikipedia also notes that Argentina continues to assert sovereignty over the islands and that this was a factor leading to the Falklands War,[9] but I’m sure Boris Johnson’s indomitable spirit will prevail against any further such Argentine adventurism.

I’m joking, of course. The islands appear to be environmentally sensitive,[10] not a good place to put a bunch of idiots who are probably every bit as idiotic about the environment as they are about Brexit. But still.

  1. [1]Karla Adam and William Booth, “Could Boris Johnson’s ‘no-deal’ Brexit break up the United Kingdom?” Washington Post, July 29, 2019, https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/could-boris-johnsons-no-deal-brexit-crack-up-the-united-kingdom/2019/07/29/b871ebac-b1e6-11e9-acc8-1d847bacca73_story.html; David Benfell, “Okay, so really now, assuming they choose to do so, how do the British avoid a hard Brexit?” Not Housebroken, July 26, 2019, https://disunitedstates.org/2019/07/26/okay-so-really-now-assuming-they-choose-to-do-so-how-do-the-british-avoid-a-hard-brexit/; David Benfell, “Boris Johnson might think he’s playing poker with the European Union, but he’s actually playing ‘chicken’—with a brick wall,” Not Housebroken, August 2, 2019, https://disunitedstates.org/2019/08/02/boris-johnson-might-think-hes-playing-poker-with-the-european-union-but-hes-actually-playing-chicken-with-a-brick-wall/; Daniel Boffey, “However you look at it, the logic of a Brexit backstop refuses to yield,” Guardian, June 24, 2019, https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/jun/24/however-look-logic-brexit-backstop-refuses-to-yield-irish; British Broadcasting Corporation, “Irish deputy PM Coveney: No deal Brexit would mean customs checks in Ireland,” July 21, 2019, https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-politics-49062367/irish-deputy-pm-coveney-no-deal-brexit-would-mean-customs-checks-in-ireland; Amanda Ferguson and William Booth, “Northern Ireland’s politicians don’t agree on much. Except that Boris Johnson’s no-deal Brexit would be a disaster,” Washington Post, July 31, 2019, https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/northern-irelands-politicians-dont-agree-on-much-except-that-boris-johnsons-no-deal-brexit-would-be-a-disaster/2019/07/31/c209affa-b2eb-11e9-acc8-1d847bacca73_story.html; Peter Foster and Camilla Tominey, “Boris Johnson warned that ‘no deal’ Brexit will require return of ‘direct rule’ in Northern Ireland,” Telegraph, July 26, 2019, https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/07/26/boris-johnson-warned-no-deal-brexit-will-require-return-direct/; Conor Humphries, “Irish PM says hard Brexit would raise issue of Irish unification,” Telegraph, July 27, 2019, https://www.reuters.com/article/uk-britain-eu-ireland-nireland-idUSKCN1UL280
  2. [2]Michael Savage and Daniel Boffey, “No-deal Brexit spells calamity for union, warns Gordon Brown,” Guardian, August 10, 2019, https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/aug/10/gordon-brown-says-no-deal-brexit-would-be-calamity-for-united-kingdom
  3. [3]David Benfell, “Boris Johnson might think he’s playing poker with the European Union, but he’s actually playing ‘chicken’—with a brick wall,” Not Housebroken, August 2, 2019, https://disunitedstates.org/2019/08/02/boris-johnson-might-think-hes-playing-poker-with-the-european-union-but-hes-actually-playing-chicken-with-a-brick-wall/
  4. [4]David Benfell, “Okay, so really now, assuming they choose to do so, how do the British avoid a hard Brexit?” Not Housebroken, July 26, 2019, https://disunitedstates.org/2019/07/26/okay-so-really-now-assuming-they-choose-to-do-so-how-do-the-british-avoid-a-hard-brexit/; Edward Malnick, “Dominic Cummings tells MPs: you’ve missed your chance to stop no-deal Brexit,” Telegraph, August 3, 2019, https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2019/08/03/dominic-cummings-tells-mps-missed-chance-stop-no-deal-brexit/; Oliver Wright, “Could Brexit rebels scupper conference season?” Times, August 8, 2019, https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/could-brexit-rebels-scupper-conference-season-q7hqdh9w0
  5. [5]Michael Savage and Daniel Boffey, “No-deal Brexit spells calamity for union, warns Gordon Brown,” Guardian, August 10, 2019, https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/aug/10/gordon-brown-says-no-deal-brexit-would-be-calamity-for-united-kingdom
  6. [6]Michael Savage and Daniel Boffey, “No-deal Brexit spells calamity for union, warns Gordon Brown,” Guardian, August 10, 2019, https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/aug/10/gordon-brown-says-no-deal-brexit-would-be-calamity-for-united-kingdom
  7. [7]Robert Hutton and Tim Ross, “His Critics Say He Lies, But Tories Want to Trust Boris Johnson,” Bloomberg, June 14, 2019, https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-06-14/his-critics-say-he-lies-but-tories-want-to-trust-boris-johnson
  8. [8]William Booth and Karla Adam, “Boris Johnson, Brexit cheerleader, to become British prime minister,” Washington Post, July 23, 2019, https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/boris-johnson-expected-to-win-british-prime-minister-vote/2019/07/23/0e63fc8e-ac93-11e9-9411-a608f9d0c2d3_story.html
  9. [9]Wikipedia, “South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands,” August 5, 2019, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Georgia_and_the_South_Sandwich_Islands
  10. [10]Wikipedia, “South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands,” August 5, 2019, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Georgia_and_the_South_Sandwich_Islands

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